Since the COVID-19 crisis began to mount in the US, and stores began running out of staples, I’ve been seeing a common refrain on many of the mothers’ groups and parent groups that I’m on. “Help! Has anyone seen this brand of pasta? My child is extremely picky, and I can’t find it anywhere!” Feeding our kids is so central to our identity as parents, that when we aren’t able to, it’s scary. And at a time with so much uncertainty and when so much feels out of control, having those reliable foods run out at the store can pile on the stress and be downright terrifying.

My approach to feeding therapy relies heavily on Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility. Most people have heard some variation of this… “I make what I make. My child either eats it or they don’t.” What I always add is that while it is the parent or caregiver’s responsibility to decide what to serve, part of that responsibility is making sure there is a safe food for their picky eater. It doesn’t have to be (and as much as possible shouldn’t be) the same food every meal, or every day. It doesn’t need to be the main course. But the child should feel comfortable and safe coming to the table, knowing that there will be something that she can eat. This helps with getting children to the table as well as with preventing some mealtime struggles.

So how do we manage this when our reliable food isn’t available? When we’re down to the last box of those chicken dinos? Here’s my advice, after 8 years as a feeding therapist.

First, make a list. I would make a mental list of all the foods that we think our child will eat reliably. Reliably doesn’t mean 100% of the time. As much as I love ice cream, there are days that I will still turn it down! Reliably means at least 50% of the time. Once I have my list, I can start rotating foods to keep them “fresh” and stretch out how long I can use them.

Second, stretch out that favored food. Instead of 5 dinos, maybe I would serve 3. Make that box of reliable food last while I try to find the next one.

Third, start to play. Get that dino interacting with other foods! If your child likes chicken dinos, serve them with a few broccoli florets and have the dinos eat the leaves. Find a few animal crackers and let them interact with the dinos. Make a little hill or mountain with their mashed potatoes and let it be a volcano that the dinosaur climbs. Find ways to involve the dinos in play with other foods.

Fourth, bring in another box. For an older child, explain that the store was sold out of their favorite brand, so just in case, you picked up this other brand. Keep the food as consistent as possible at first, if your child is really specific about brands. Be up front and honest that this isn’t the same, if they ask. Don’t try to trick or sneak the food in. Keep your child’s trust. Bring in one of the new nuggets (or new dinos of a different brand), and explain that your child does not have to eat it if he doesn’t want to. Continue the exposure alongside that safe food and describe the two nuggets with words that give the child information about the foods. It’s salty! It’s crunchy! It’s juicy! Stay away from “yucky” and even “yummy.” They don’t give children as much information, and as we all know, everyone finds different foods yucky and yummy.

As your child gets more comfortable with the presence of the different nugget, start introducing the idea of taste tests. Taste tests can be little nibbles, licks, “mouse bites” (or use your child’s favorite small animal), or really any interaction with two distinct but similar foods. Taste tests can be particularly powerful with older kids that are interested in cooking, food prep, and food in general. These tests are a great tool, not just now, but in general for expanding diets. Small, “just-noticeable” changes are less threatening than big jumps.

Feeding therapy can be a powerful tool for families struggling with picky eating, but it is important to know that changes in feeding take time. If these tips and tricks don’t yield even the smallest results after a few weeks, or you’ve already tried them, reach out to a feeding therapist for help. We can evaluate any underlying issues affecting your child’s feeding habits, and can work with you to come up with a plan that works for you and your child.